Ok, so I was talking to my cool niece last month and she told me something that just cracked me up.
Are you ready?
Every teenage boy has a Zombie Escape Plan.
That’s what my niece told me. She was serious. And she thought it was just as weird as I do. (She doesn’t have one.)
Here’s how she found out about it. One day she was listening as two male friends of hers were comparing zombie escape plans. This was new to her. “Does every guy have a zombie escape plan?” she asked them.
“Well duh,” they both said, dead serious.
So she ran an unscientific survey of her teenage male friends to find out if it was true. And guess what.
Every boy she asked said yes, naturally he has a zombie escape plan.
By now I was busting up. I told her well, at least I have a fire escape ladder in my 2-story house. I could use that as my zombie escape plan too. Her dad (my brother-in-law) said no: that’s lame. A fire escape plan does not serve as a zombie escape plan. As evidence he pointed to his own zombie escape plan: he will dance a jig. Because everyone knows a zombie cannot resist dancing a jig if he sees someone else doing it. But it doesn’t make a very good fire escape plan.
My niece said her dad was right. One boy in her survey said his zombie escape plan involved climbing up on the roof, which is usually not a good idea in a fire. At this point her younger brother, who’s also a teenager, piped up and said that after all, his zombie escape plan is to use a flame thrower. And that never makes a very good fire escape plan.
When I got home I googled it and found that there is even a web site dedicated just to this (side note: what did we ever do before the web?): http://www.zombieescapeplan.com. Except it’s made by a girl. So I guess at least that’s good because when the zombies attack some of the girls will be prepared.
I need a good zombie escape plan. What’s yours? Please comment below so I can get some good ideas.