Category Archives: Humor

Hey, Google. You Know that New Floating Facility You’re Building in the Bay? Please Name it Floating Point.

About four days ago, news broke that Google is building some large floating structure in the San Francisco Bay. According to CNET, “It is located on a barge just off Treasure Island, between San Francisco and Oakland.”

There has been a lot of speculation about what it is. A floating data center? A mobile retail store for selling Google Glass? A water-borne launch pad for giant Internet wifi blimps?

Whatever you’re building in the Bay, Google, I have only one request:

Please name it Floating Point.

Clearly that is the only name you could give this structure.

Apple has Infinite Loop. You can’t let them be the only Silicon Valley company with a clever name. You need something just as good. Now’s your chance.

Name it Floating Point. Please.

Readers, tweet this if you agree.

Google Structure

What is your Zombie Escape Plan?

Ok, so I was talking to my cool niece last month and she told me something that just cracked me up.

Are you ready?

Here goes:

Every teenage boy has a Zombie Escape Plan.

That’s what my niece told me. She was serious. And she thought it was just as weird as I do. (She doesn’t have one.)

Here’s how she found out about it. One day she was listening as two male friends of hers were comparing zombie escape plans. This was new to her. “Does every guy have a zombie escape plan?” she asked them.

“Well duh,” they both said, dead serious.

So she ran an unscientific survey of her teenage male friends to find out if it was true. And guess what.

It was.

Every boy she asked said yes, naturally he has a zombie escape plan.

By now I was busting up. I told her well, at least I have a fire escape ladder in my 2-story house. I could use that as my zombie escape plan too. Her dad (my brother-in-law) said no: that’s lame. A fire escape plan does not serve as a zombie escape plan. As evidence he pointed to his own zombie escape plan: he will dance a jig. Because everyone knows a zombie cannot resist dancing a jig if he sees someone else doing it. But it doesn’t make a very good fire escape plan.

My niece said her dad was right. One boy in her survey said his zombie escape plan involved climbing up on the roof, which is usually not a good idea in a fire. At this point her younger brother, who’s also a teenager, piped up and said that after all, his zombie escape plan is to use a flame thrower. And that never makes a very good fire escape plan.

When I got home I googled it and found that there is even a web site dedicated just to this (side note: what did we ever do before the web?): Except it’s made by a girl. So I guess at least that’s good because when the zombies attack some of the girls will be prepared.

I need a good zombie escape plan. What’s yours? Please comment below so I can get some good ideas.